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Today was my last day as a Software Developer. It's not because I got promoted to Senior Software Developer, or got a title change to something like Code Wizard - it's because I handed my notice in last month. And I don't have another job lined up.

Before I left the games industry in 2018, I knew I wanted to return some day. I have no knowledge of Unreal and my C++ is entry level, which limits my options somewhat. Recruiters love to tell me how I'd be a perfect fit to make a VR game in Unity, but I could not give a fuck about VR unless it's the bird game in Labo, which limits my options a bit more.

As a child I always said I wanted to be a game designer, and then, in trying to make that a reality, discovered code and how much I love telling computers to do things. So throughout my 20s I said I wanted to be a game programmer. But months before turning 30, I don't think I actually do. Or at least, not exclusively.

As much as I hated the workflow and tools, I miss being a little scripter man and placing characters down in an editor. What I do not miss is having to move them when an artist comes along and plops a tree directly where my character was standing, resulting in QA telling me a character I have not touched for weeks is now just arms poking out the side of a tree, and production forcing me to move the character because it's too much work for art to move the tree now.

But it's a little difficult searching for a job that I don't even know the title of, and the job description is writes code sometimes, but also other times moves characters out of trees because artists don't bother playing the level. I want to be more deeply involved in the code base than a scripter, and technical designer sounds a little too design-y.

So I'm not going to look for that job, because I'm going to invent it myself and work on my own game. And what am I going to do as a stay-at-home procrastinator independent video game developer? Besides not placing trees at the same position where there is clearly a character.

For the best part of the past few years, I had an assumption whatever game I made on my own would be 2D because "2D is easier", and I was writing a library built on top of MonoGame to facilitate that. And while I have ideas for games that I think work well in 2D, I can't do pixel art.

That's technically a lie - I can do pixel art. I just can't do it very well. But if I practice, and put time into it, I can probably make something that looks OK. From the audio side of things, I can get sound effects from Freesound and knock some music up in Garageband. If I even want music. Which I probably do.

The problem is I also have ideas for 3D games. But I can't model. Or rig. Or animate. So it's definitely going to be a 2D game.

Except all the 3D game ideas I have are way more marketable. But I've already ruled them out because of modelling and animation, and because they are way more complex. Yet I know when I go to publish one of the 2D games on Steam, and see them not do great, I will regret not having done one of the things that was clearly the better thing to do, even if it was more difficult.

To solve this, I tried using Blender and promptly uninstalled it. Three times. It's an absolute nightmare. But after successfully rigging a character model that I bought from a 3D site, and having managed to model, unwrap and texture a few small objects successfully, I am now far more confident that I can actually make a 3D game on my own (for the most part).

To try and force myself to be consistent, I've planned a daily routine which I already know I am not sticking to. 7 hours a day, Monday-Thursday. Which will invetiably turn into something like 10 hours a day, every day becuase the sooner I have stuff done, the sooner I can be confident whether or not this entire being indie thing is going to work.

It's nice having working hours sorted, but what do I work on? Do I pick the idea where the core mechanics can be repackaged into different modes, including online multiplayer? The idea which is a multiplayer puzzle game? Or the idea that doesn't include multiplayer, because that is hella scary, but does include the concept that literally everything the player does can influence what happens?

I really like that last idea, but for it to exist in the real world like it does in my head, it needs a team and a lot more money than I have, and will probably ever have.

The second idea requires me to come up with puzzles, make sure that they work over the internet, and then make sure that they can still be solved when the player does something that I could never have predicted that breaks the puzzle.

So it's the first idea. A 3D game, made in Unity, with 5 different game modes, 3 of which have online functionality, but all utilising the same mechanics. It just so happens that this lends itself to Early Access a lot easier too, so as soon as I have something that is playable, I can stick it out there and see if people bite.

The plan, as I wrote it at the end of December:

• January (part time):
• Main core mechanics
• February (part time):
• Another core mechanic
• Idle animation
• Wrapper for the first game mode
• March:
• Wrapper for another game mode
• Run animation
• 2 "abilities"
• April:
• Additional animations
• Textures
• May:
• Front end
• Tutorials
• Bug fixes and tweaks
• June / July:
• Panic when lots of things aren't done
• Media assets
• Early Access release

After I wrote the plan and started working on it, I realised I had never mentioned doing any models, but there's not a huge amount that need doing so they can be squeezed in. I also didn't mention anything about sound effects, so they'll have to find a slot too. And I also forgot about AI, which is actually incredibly important and a massive surprise as to how I missed that. That will be an ongoing thing once I get animations in.

I had planned that the initial Early Access release would not include any online multiplayer, but I keep trying to twist my own arm. I'm trying to write everything in a way that means I don't have to rewrite it when multiplayer goes in, so the earlier it's in, the better, I suppose. But I need to test it, which to do properly likely involves approaching a publisher. And I want to put that off as long as I can.

I also thought it would be a nice to write a book about the development as I progresssed, since there aren't many (if any) game dev books I'm aware of written with the insight and perspective of someone who made a thing. I assumed this hadn't happened because big studios won't let it, and indies don't have time, but it's clear now that it's because it is an incoherent mess. Do you try and tell it linearly, or do you break it down by discipline? Either way, it doesn't really read well because everything interconnects.

So I'm going to do weekly blogs that maybe could be collated into a book once everything is done. These will be going up on Fridays at 12pm UK time. As long as I have written them. Generally you can't publish something that hasn't been written.

That is all. I hope it goes well. If not, does anyone have some characters that need moving from out of trees?

OK, that is not all. Things have happened.

I was going to keep the idea secret until some time in April or May when I had something I could actually show. It's a 5v5 football game with power-ups inspired by Mario Strikers because there hasn't been a new Mario Strikers since the Wii.

On Tuesday, Nintendo announced they were doing a Nintendo Direct on Wednesday evening. They won't, I think to myself.

On Wednesday, at my leaving drinks, I joke that I am praying that Nintendo won't.

And then I get home and Nintendo announce a new Mario Strikers game.

So, what now? That's for me to figure out next week. Hey, at least Nintendo gave me a cliffhanger.